Uglyhead

A couple days ago I received a contact form email from someone who was websurfing for information on our subdivision. The person asked a good question, so I thought I would respond with a post.

Hello! Stumbled across your website while looking for Stanford Place info. You are blessed with such a nice family! (Nice website but, don’t you feel vulnerable to have so much personal info about the kids on the web with all of the info about predators?) Not a criticism, just a cautious mom of three. Have a blessed Thanksgiving!

My natural reaction is to say that no, I am not too worried, at least not any more than I am of thermonuclear war. How much more likely is a predator to find us via the family blog than, say, someone who just cruises suburbia in search of potential victims? Should we stay inside, too? Of course, that is my cynical side speaking. While I do not post addresses, telephone numbers and email addresses online, there are probably enough things scattered across this site that, when put together, could enable someone to find us.

• Our last name is listed.
• Our house is pictured.
• Our geographical location (down to subdivision) is available.

What concerns me more with regard to our children and the web is not so much the family blog, but the eventual reality that my kids will be on something akin to MySpace as they grow older (with or without our permission). Whenever I post something online I consciously think about what I am saying. It goes beyond appropriateness (would I say this in person?) to the question of whether or not the information puts someone at significant risk. Kids have not yet learned how to make these necessary distinctions.

On the flip side, any potential risks must be put into perspective by the rewards. Below are reasons why we blog (feel free to share your own).

1. Family and friends stay connected.
2. Old relationships are restored (e.g., former classmates).
3. New (virtual) relationships are created.
4. Useful information is passed back and forth.
5. A record of the past is preserved for the future.

Since I think that blogging is as much of a relational venture as it is informational (three out of five on the list), I have made the decision to allow our names and faces to exist in this online space. I could come up with code names for everyone, but it would not be long before someone blew it. I can just see myself having to edit comments all of the time (e.g., changing Ethan to Kiki). I do have friends who use online psuedonyms. They wear them well and recognize that the veil is thin. It is, however, worth mentioning that total anonymity on the blogosphere can sometimes be a bad idea. It is hard enough to not say something stupid when people know who you are (see some of the comments I have left on other blogs). I am also reminded of what poet Dana Gioia said in his poem, Words, “To name is to know and remember.” I sort of feel like you know me more fully, and I am more accountable to myself and the community, when you see me here as Scott (e.g., instead of as KDog).

All of this said, I am as much concerned about internet safety as I am about our family’s comings and goings in the physical realm. Perhaps my opinion on the topic could stand to be stretched and expanded. What thoughts or experiences can you share about blogging as it relates to personal safety?